Quality Time: 5 Love Languages

5 love languages
Quality time is really mostly about focused attention and quality conversation. (The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters but a man of understanding draws them out. Proverbs 20:5) Quality conversation is about understanding versus fixing which is the difference between listening and speaking.

7 Keys to Quality Conversation:
1)eye contact

2)don’t listen and do something else. Undivided attention… If you can’t stop just be honest. Say you will talk in a set amount of time or set a specific appointment time.

3)Listen for emotions

4)Look for body language: fidgeting, furrowed brow, wringing hands, eye watering

5)Refuse to interrupt

6)Reflective listening like “What I hear you saying is…”

7)Share emotions

There are definite personality differences that are common and understanding them (and which on you are) will make quality time better and easier.

Dead Sea: Content to not speak, Have a large reservoir so it isn’t that they aren’t experiencing emotions;).

Babbling Brook: In and out! Be it thought, action or emotion…

Ignoring the personality differences can be dangerous to relationships! After a time in marriage the Babbling Brook feels she doesn’t know the Dead Sea and the Dead Sea feels he knows everything! Decide to exchange 3 feelings each every day. If you are the Dead Sea remember 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 “We have spoken to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange- I speak as to my children- open wide your hearts also.”

But quality time doesn’t have to just be about staring into each others eyes over candlelight. It can also be about quality activities. Make sure you do activities both like or just 1 like but give & take. Take turns people;). It is about the time you are spending together. Like on date night…we want to do something (at least until the kids go to bed) but don’t have a big activity. Do you know how many times Jeremy has gone shopping with me;)?

Quality time isn’t that complicated. And frankly it is necessary in some quantity for every relationship! Next week we will look at receiving gifts!

{Over the next 7 weeks I am going to be doing a series on The 5 Love Languages (by Gary Chapman) in my Sunday School class. I decided to share my talks over here. As you may see, it isn’t aimed only at couples or children but all;). Be nice, I am nervous as it is;). }

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