Category Archives: life

My Impending Class Reunion

I am less than 24 hours away from my 20th class reunion and I am nervous. A couple days ago I had a bit of a panic attack and vlogged it;).

I don’t like who I was in high school (or any of my “teens”) and I am still embarrassed about it. I didn’t like myself then either and so that deeply had an effect on my attitude. I was often not a nice person and was a little over cocky/aggressive. But that was long ago and I am a different person now.

In the panic: NerdDad was told me if I wasn’t excited/happy then not to go but I kind of feel like I have to face this. My best friend weighed in and she was hilarious. She said I couldn’t just not go and no one would think anything of it at this point. She said since I “made it” in a small way that it could be taken as a snub if I didn’t go…. Yeah, she is 1)a little crazy and 2)has a really low bar of any form of making it;). But I lover her anyway;).

Jeannie Mai adjusting my belt at BlogHer 12.

So I got through that but the whole “I am not going to look good enough” freak out has been in the back of my mind for the last month;). But it hit me today…. The dress I am wearing was complemented by Jeannie Mai and the pictures have been complemented widely;). So I guess I should quit being a child about this!

I think it goes back to I need to be who I am now and not try to hard (as I still have a habit to do with former high school peeps). I may not have been likeable as a teen but people seem to find me pleasant enough now;).

I am good enough, smart enough and darn it, people like me! (Hey, Jack Handey was onto something;)

I will report back next week to let you know how it all goes!!!

To Call or Not to Call

© Anettphoto | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images © Anettphoto | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images[/capt

I (like many girls) was molested as a very young child by 1 of my uncles. I frankly, don’t really remember it. The culprit always weirded me out and it wasn’t until I was 9ish that I was even told, so that I could protect my sister from him. The last time I saw him I was in jr. high.

I have checked with someone I trust, it did happen. I went through the whole police report thing and there was court but because he was so young nothing really happened (he is 11 years older than me). Jump to a few months ago. My mom said that he told her to say hi to me for him. I didn’t know which was creepier: him or my mom who was willing to deliver a message for him. A couple of days ago my mom gave me his number because he would like to talk me and she told him she would.

So now what do I do? Lose his number? But the other side is: What if he wants to apologize? He supposedly doesn’t know my new last name so he can’t just call me. I forgive him without ever talking to him but that doesn’t mean I want to interact. But I don’t want to deny him the ability to apologize and for me to tell him I forgive him. And then there is the concern that I am just going to be inviting more crazy into my life.

By the way, he lives on the other side of the country so it isn’t like I would be inviting him to be around my kids.

What to do???

*Edit: I have never talked to him about this confronted him about it. I don’t know if that is what he wants to talk to me about. My extended family is good at ignoring these kind of things.

Quality Time: 5 Love Languages

5 love languages
Quality time is really mostly about focused attention and quality conversation. (The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters but a man of understanding draws them out. Proverbs 20:5) Quality conversation is about understanding versus fixing which is the difference between listening and speaking.

7 Keys to Quality Conversation:
1)eye contact

2)don’t listen and do something else. Undivided attention… If you can’t stop just be honest. Say you will talk in a set amount of time or set a specific appointment time.

3)Listen for emotions

4)Look for body language: fidgeting, furrowed brow, wringing hands, eye watering

5)Refuse to interrupt

6)Reflective listening like “What I hear you saying is…”

7)Share emotions

There are definite personality differences that are common and understanding them (and which on you are) will make quality time better and easier.

Dead Sea: Content to not speak, Have a large reservoir so it isn’t that they aren’t experiencing emotions;).

Babbling Brook: In and out! Be it thought, action or emotion…

Ignoring the personality differences can be dangerous to relationships! After a time in marriage the Babbling Brook feels she doesn’t know the Dead Sea and the Dead Sea feels he knows everything! Decide to exchange 3 feelings each every day. If you are the Dead Sea remember 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 “We have spoken to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange- I speak as to my children- open wide your hearts also.”

But quality time doesn’t have to just be about staring into each others eyes over candlelight. It can also be about quality activities. Make sure you do activities both like or just 1 like but give & take. Take turns people;). It is about the time you are spending together. Like on date night…we want to do something (at least until the kids go to bed) but don’t have a big activity. Do you know how many times Jeremy has gone shopping with me;)?

Quality time isn’t that complicated. And frankly it is necessary in some quantity for every relationship! Next week we will look at receiving gifts!

{Over the next 7 weeks I am going to be doing a series on The 5 Love Languages (by Gary Chapman) in my Sunday School class. I decided to share my talks over here. As you may see, it isn’t aimed only at couples or children but all;). Be nice, I am nervous as it is;). }

3 Pieces of Wisdom for my Teen Self #VlogMom

I appear to be back vlogging! I jumped back in with this week’s #VlogMom prompt. This week’s prompt is what 3 things you would tell your teenage self. I am not sure that I would have believed myself but I give it a go!

So what 3 things would you have told yourself? Make sure to let me know in the comments!!! And then check out some of the other great #VlogMom videos!


Words of Affirmation: 5 Love Languages

5 love languages

Words, Words, Words. It is amazing to me the something that takes so little effort can have a huge effect on everyone. The Bible speaks over and over about the power to bless with our words but

Proverbs 18:21 cuts to the chase with “The tongue has the power of Life and Death.”

I don’t know the source by I remember hearing that humans are the only species that can leave their dead walking having killed them with a word. Ouch!

For some of us whom Words of Affirmation is the primary love language, it is even stronger!

4 ways to figure out if some receives in Words of Affirmation

1) The person who lavishes compliments

2) The person who asks you what you think about something they did (sometimes inadvertently)

3) The person who holds on to negative words from others

4) The person who wonders what people meant by that


Types of Words of Affirmation

-Gratitude Hebrews 10:24 Says “Lets s consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

-Encouraging Words: We are commanded in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 to “Encourage one another and build each other up”

Gary Chapman gives multiple examples of this in the video and the book but starts with the weight loss one. And he is not alone, I have heard that example (going both ways) numerous times. (Really? Can we just for a minute pretend that we have issues, goals and aspirations in our marriages? ) But seriously, the standard encouraging word is dealing with slaying a challenge.

But not all words of Encouragement are tied to a specific venture or challenge. We are told to “Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today.” Hebrews 3:13a

I love in the movie The Help the maid said to the kid she cared for every night “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

-Kind Words: Dr. Chapman refers to using Kinds Words in the face of conflict. Using Ephesians 4:32 “Be Kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you” and Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away anger”

-Humble Words: Proverbs 16:24 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones”

How you express any of these words should be humbly! It really boils down to what my mom always said (and probably all of yours said it too), “It isn’t what you say but how you say it”. And that goes for your non-verbal communication too. We all know it but it is just a reminder.

So for those of you whom “Words of Affirmation” are your first language. Help people out! The responsibility can’t always be in someone else’s court.

But for the rest of you…

Chapman recommends you make a list of nice things to say and then say them. I am going to go a step further and recommend that you memorize them. It is always awkward to have someone converse by reading a script;).

He also recommends keeping a list of affirming things you hear or see and use them later. “Danger Will Robinson” Use them with caution…. That can come off so fake in some situations and a big hit in others. If you are using Shakespeare or Mr. Darcy, you may have a win. It will be obvious they are not your words but it will seem like you put effort into searching them out. If you are using some text book affirmation in the office you are going to come off sounding like Michael Scott from The Office. Just make sure it seems genuine and heart felt no matter who you are talking to!

A great way to avoid any awkwardness you are feeling is texts, email, facebook, and notes.! The written word is a great way to communicate. And part of what has been most dear in notes is when someone references a scripture they are praying for or an attribute they feel I am fulfilling.

As many of you know, I live “virtual” life with friends I have never met or only see a couple times a year. Emails, tweets and Facebook posting are our relationships;). When I get a post from a friend that just says thinking about you… My squeezes a little, possibly like the Grinch’s when it was growing, but it makes me smile and feel valued. The kind of valued that makes me want to do stuff for them;).

It really is, to use one of the most over used words of the decade so far, all about being intentional. If keeping a list of coworkers and marking when you make a point of saying something nice, do it. If it is making a point to write your children notes about the things you admire about them and then passing them out over time… what ever works!

In all things (and words) love!

{Over the next 7 weeks I am going to be doing a series on The 5 Love Languages (by Gary Chapman) in my Sunday School class. I decided to share my talks over here. As you may see, it isn’t aimed only at couples or children but all;). Be nice, I am nervous as it is;). }

5 Love Languages: Intro

5 love languagesLove, love is the most desired and most confusing word in the world… It is this ethereal thing we all strive for but seem to have no grasp of. But is it more than that? It is! To steal from DC Talk in the early ’90’s Love is a Verb. Love is an action, a decision, a course.

Many of us have heard of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman over the years as it spread like wild fire through churches and Christian society in the late 1990’s. They are that way we choose to communicate and receive love through actions and words. Usually it discussed with in the relational confines of marriage and children. But love is to go beyond those relationships to all people. In John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” And in 1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

We are to show love in all relationships. But how do the 5 Love Languages play into it? Well, remember the last time you performed beyond yourself at work? Or had someone go that extra mile? Well, the 5 Love Languages may have factored into that. Not that I am saying they are a manipulation tool by any means but those can be signs of Love Languages being spoken.

The 5 Love Languages are

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time


Acts of Service

Physical Touch

Understanding how people communicate love and appreciation is key to making the most out of relationships in every circumstance! Have you ever had a boss that you just go that extra mile? Have you ever felt someone was ungrateful or taking you for granted? It was probably just different languages;). You give someone so much of your time or gift but they are frustrated? Well, that happens beyond marriages too;).

And this isn’t only about learning how to read other people and how they receive love. How about when you are the one frustrated and they aren’t at all? Do you even know why? That is when knowing your own love language is key too! I know I have struggled with this for years! As frivolous as I feel it might be… While I am very demanding because I like some of all of them;), my primary love language is words of affirmation. In my heart I feel it is frivolous because it is just words but… It is;). Knowing and accepting your love language helps and helps you see others’ more clearly.

So that said as we start this journey. Share around in the comments what you think your love language is. And tell of 1 way you have shown someone love in their Love Language over the holiday (beyond Santa visiting)!


{Over the next 7 weeks I am going to be doing a series on The 5 Love Languages (by Gary Chapman) in my Sunday School class. I decided to share my talks over here. As you may see, it isn’t aimed only at couples or children but all;). Be nice, I am nervous as it is;). }

The World is Ending Tomorrow!!!

aussie-earthOk, so maybe the world isn’t ending but go with me a minute. If the world was ending tomorrow what would you change about what you are doing today? What would your regret be?

I am not talking about the crazy “spend all your money” “never sleep” stuff. I mean really, what would your regrets be? Your priorities? Not telling you loved ones that you love them? Not laughing more? Not taking joy in your life?

Then take this as your wake up call and change your life!!!!! Reorganize your life, have fun, live, laugh and love!!!! Make Christmas a time to enjoy and start your New Year with a different view on life!

Go hug your kids, eat chocolate and laugh!!!!