20. Your kids never tell you that you’re a lot dumber than their
teacher.

19. If you can’t find matching socks for your child first thing in
the morning, who cares?

18. Cleaning out the refrigerator can double as chemistry lab.

17. Your kids have good reason to think they might get spanked in
school, but no reason to think they’ll get beat up by a gang.

16. If the principal gives the teacher a bad evaluation, she can
stick her icy feet against his legs at night.

15. You can post the Ten Commandments on your school room wall and
won’t get sued.

14. You never have to drive your child’s forgotten lunch to school.

13.Your child will never go to their 20th high school reunion, meet
an old flame, and recklessly abandon their marriage.

12. You get to change more than diapers, you get to change their
minds.

11. If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you’re
having a PTA meeting.

10. It’s better to be slightly concerned about socialization than
very concerned about socialism.

9. Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers
after PE.

8. The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it
is to cook.

7. You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your
child’s side or the teacher’s side in a dispute at school.

6. If your child gets drugs at school, it’s probably Tylenol.

5. The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and
no one gossips.

4. Your kids recognize that this list is numerically in reverse
order.

3. Your honor student can actually read the bumper sticker that you
have on your car.

2. If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask
the dog.

1. Some day your children will consider you to be a miracle working
expert and will turn to you for advice.

(HT: Shasta)