My Guilt, My Fear

I knew that I would probably have some pretty bright kids. I am blessed with a husband who is absolutely brilliant so the chances of smart kids were good. But what I didn’t expect was the guilt in the face of their brilliance.

NerdBug (8) and NerdPie (6) were pretty bright. NerdBug didn’t really read early but once he did the kid started eating books. He is a year ahead in math and overall pretty bright. NerdPie started doing 25 piece puzzles at like 14 months old, she read in kindergarten, and is ahead at math too. So, while I know my kids are above grade level, I have been afraid that I am not educating them up to their total potential. I should be doing more with them but life always seems to get in the way. I have Latin to do with the oldest that I can’t make time for. I am not diligent on the history. They could be speaking foreign languages, doing physics, who knows what. So if I was guilty and afraid before…..
NerdDad started going through a great book series with Nerdling in the this last month. Here is what my 4 year old (he won’t be 4 1/2 until the end of January) read last night all by himself:

Mike has a hen. The hen is black. It is a fine hen. The hen is lost. Mike is sad. Is the hen in the nest? It is not in the nest.

The word egg is what stumped him. I am in so much trouble…..

What if I don’t equip them well enough? Their intellect and brilliance is a gift, what if I am squandering it? What could they do if they had a better mom? In all seriousness, I am not wondering about sending them to public school. I know that a teacher in a class of 30 couldn’t take as far as I am now. But, there is always a but, is it as far as I could take them?
Uh, Mommy Guilt exponentiated.

0 thoughts on “My Guilt, My Fear”

  1. Welcome to my world. LOL. I have to constantly remind myself that I can only do my best and that it's better to let them have a fair bit of unstructured time than to have to heavily scheduled.

  2. Don't you think you would feel the same way if they were "at grade level" or below? I think there is always more you could do. But would it be best for the overall development of your child (and for your family as a whole) if you did everything you could do academically? Wouldn't other aspects of their development suffer? No matter what you do, someone will be able to criticize your choices. Even your grown-up kids. So just keep doing what's best for your family and ditch the guilt!

  3. I've questioned myself more than once on this topic. Homeschooling is a scary venture, when you question yourself continually.
    You're doing a great JOB…..I'm proud of you. LOVE DELORES

  4. I have a daughter who is years ahead of her peers (she read Shakespeare in 1st grade) we pulled her out of a very good (and expensive) private school because she was not getting anywhere near what she needed. I think homeschooling is wonderful for these kids….they are able to move ahead when they want to and slack off as well (they are kids after all). I just found you guys so you may know this already but
    is a great site with lots of info. Good luck!


  5. Jess, have you discovered TAGMAX yet? It's a list for those of us who are homeschooling intellectually gifted children.

    It's the most useful list I belong to because everyone is in the same boat as I am. I can be honest about my children's accomplishments without people becoming all defensive of their children. Also, these women have BTDT and are full of very good advice.

    You'll find that most curriculum reviews are useless to you because they are not written with intellectually gifted children in mind. That's where the moms on TAGMAX come in. They can tell you what works and what doesn't for gifted kids.

  6. Your kids were picked out by God to be yours! He doesn't make mistakes and you are doing great! They are very well rounded and polite. They will be wonderful contributions to society. Keep up the good work girl and take Sara Edward's advice, ditch the quilt!

  7. My goodness Jackie, no matter what you teach them academically they will always be brilliant and capable of learning and retaining anything they need in any area at that time. There should be no guilt, you are the mother they were meant to have and they are totally blessed to have YOU.

  8. I feel the same way, DS is advanced also and very smart and I struggle daily with this. I think no matter what we do, we will have some mommy guilt.

  9. Jackie… Don't be so hard on yourself. You are brilliant yourself and you will always find the faults in yourself because you are a good woman, mother and wife. Someone else would think they were infallible. Those are the people that need to look in the mirror. I am sure you are doing your very best. I have to remind myself of this daily. Being a single mom and not having the ability to home school your kids is a burden of guilt as well. When you don't have the time to learn the math that your 9th grader is doing so you can help him with his homework is pretty bad. All we can do is do the best we can and hope they know we did our best. You have nothing to worry about hun. I know you are still the sweetest girl as you were all those years ago and I know you are sharing your brilliance with your gifted children. Blessings to you~ Kristine

  10. Relax! I'm sure your kids are doing just fine. My in-laws were total slacker parents when it came to providing intellectual stimulation to their kids but my DH wound up valedictorian of his high school, got his bachelor's from Stanford, and his master's from Harvard. He keeps reminding me of this whenever I worry about not doing enough for my kids.

  11. Few things are more inspirational than browsing through your post here after a long day. Your fresh insight keeps me, and surely others, motivated and informed about Home Schooling. Don’t ever stop posting like this one on homeschooling harvard, ok?

  12. Hi there fellow blogger! I’m a newbie to the blogosphere but I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your blog here about homeschooling harvard, it kept me reading all the way to the end… And then I went and searched for some more posts after that. 🙂 Keep up the good work, I’m always looking to learn more about Home Schooling, especially.

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